Saturday, November 7, 2009

What I want to be doing is...

...tidying up the kitchen, so I'm not overwhelmed by it's disheveled state tomorrow.

...folding the laundry, so I'm not overwhelmed by it's heaping, unfolded state tomorrow.

...sweeping and mopping the floor, so I'm not overwhelmed by it's unkempt state tomorrow.

...taking a shower, so I don't have to worry about drying my hair in the early morning.

What I want to do is sit and sip tea and strum my guitar and have lyrics flow onto the page.

What I want to do is read a book while drifting off to sleep.

What I want to do is figure out where the pictures are going to be hung on my otherwise currently bare walls.

What I want to do is write something meaningful and deep and thought-provoking and inspiring.

What I want to do is return emails and actually write the ones that are crying out to be written.

What I want to do is organize my countertops so they can somehow keep themselves from continually overflowing with papers and saved crafts and precious rocks that have been brought in from the outdoors because they look peculiar.

But, what I do instead is sit here and fashion-blog hop, because it's mindless. And sometimes I just need mindless.

And then, instead, I read news that makes me feel angry and helpless and insanely frustrated. Because people are idiots, and the news seems to be only about people being idiots and those who are sadly affected by their idiocy.

And then I head to the shower too late, and get into bed too late to read that book, and try to fall asleep with melodies and lyrics dancing in my head that should be happy, but are tinged with sadness at people's idiocy. And it fills my thought space.

And I realize I wrote nothing meaningful at all.

And I think, "Good thing He has it all in His hands."

And I feel relief.
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