Monday, September 21, 2009

It's too late...

And I've already SEEN 27 Dresses, which I forgot. But I watched it anyway. And it has some good quotes, and is fine. Whatever. But... WHY do they always have sex beFORE even STARTing the relationship? What is up with that??!!!? And they make it seem all normal for everyone to go around having sex with everyone else without even really knowing them. Like that is how things SHOULD be. And it's NOT.

No wonder relationships in our society are royally screwed up. (Pun sort of intended.) No WONDER divorces abound and affairs are everyday. We follow what we are shown. Argue all you want, but we do.

And teenage girls are watching Gossip Girl and all these new vampire whatevers and thinking, "oooo... I want to be mysterious and adventurous and with-it." Then Hollywood comes out with all these romantic comedies alluding to everyone having a wee-bit-too-much to drink and "Whoops! My bossoms fall out!" And they think it's normal, that's what everyone must be doing. That's what you probably do to find the right guy, because, after all, it's what everyone is doing. Right?

No. This is ridiculous. And it's wrong. And I'm starting far too many sentences with "and." But we buy into it. And girls... and guys... do it. Because no one is telling them that self-control is a good thing. No one is saying, "It's better to wait. Don't give yourself away to everyone. Don't even give yourself away to THE one, until your wedding day." No one is saying that anymore!!!

Instead it's, "Well, they're going to do it anyway, so we may as well make sure they're 'safe.'" And by safe, all they mean is not getting pregnant or contracting any diseases. Except, really, they just mean the diseases part. Because, hey, anything "inconvenient" can just be "taken care of."

It's wrong. Say something, darn it!

But, out with the self-control. In with the anything-goes. Who are we to question someone else's actions? What's good for them is good for them. And what's good for me is good for me. And we should leave it at that. Because who the heck am I to tell someone else what is good for them. Right? I mean, that's what we're told.

Because no one talks about the consequences. No one talks about the counseling or the intimacy issues that follow after the ceremony because of the things you did before the ceremony. No one talks about the cynicism that comes because you've given your heart away piece by piece, bed by bed. No one talks about our instant gratification society being conditioned to want instant gratification in relationships. No one talks about any of that!

Ugh. This is ridiculous. And it's late, which makes me even more emotional about the whole thing. And the movie is cute. But, I'd appreciate leaving out the whole eye-roll-did-we-didn't-we-waking-up-the-next-morning-insinuation-that-we-had-sex thing. Because I get it. Teen girls get it. And they think it's normal.

And it tarnishes an otherwise perfectly fine movie.


Sex was created for something so perfectly beautiful. It is divinely inspired to be an amazing, intensely satisfying thing... in the right circumstances. And, just like that apple, we think, "But, I should have it NOW. I deserve it NOW. I mean, after all, why wait? It's not really THAT big of a deal."

And it is. And you won't realize it until after the fact that, yes, it is. And our world just keep turning. And we deal with the consequences. And some of us are thankful that we discover mercy and grace. And some of us grow even more cynical and ashamed.

And no one talks about the truth of it... except to make excuses.

Well, I'm talking. At least right now, I'm talking. Darn it.
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Dani said...

I have been so frustrated lately when watching T.V. and seeing commercials for Booty Call and how they encourage guys to call or have someone come over! I've listened to so many of my students comment on sex when they just have no clue how it can change their lives. One way I invite conversation is with my purity ring. Kids and adults alike ask about being married or engaged and I can tell them that it is a purity ring. When they ask what that means I get to tell them. I love seeing the surprise and hearing their comments and getting to spread the message!

Kelleigh Ratzlaff Designs said...

Amen, sister!

One other thing I want to add to your rant: Parents, cover your girls! Good grief! I can't believe how LITTLE a girl is allowed to wear. And, it happens at church, too! Put some clothes on your daughters. My sons don't need to think that is normal. Because it is NOT. It's just sad.

(My word verification is nater, by the way.)

Summer said...

Thank you for your passion in this area. Sometimes I feels as though I'm abnormal...mainly because that's what society is portraying. But I know the secret...I'm not normal and I have a HUGE blessing coming my way. :)

I've also seen the flip side of it all and watched friends go through the hurt and emotional turmoil from falling into those traps. It is so difficult for them to find that peace that they once had.

Sometimes, I wish I could stand from the roof-tops and shout out the damage pre-marital sex can cause. But at least I can try to make a positive impact with my students.

Thanks for your amazing heart and passion!