Monday, August 17, 2009

Learning

I’m not sure who it was harder for… but the boys’ bets would be for me because they saw my face when I got back in the car.

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Brittney has been on the waiting list for the school right behind our house since early May. The school both Jordan and Ian are at. The school that is right next to the school that Taylor is at. The school that we walk to. That our backyard overlooks. That the kids play at. That school.

In May she was seventh. “You’ll get a notice in the mail when she gets in.” they said.

“No problemo,” we thought. “Seven people will surely move over the summer!” But time went on. We heard nothing. “Surely, we’ll get out to Colorado and a spot will have opened up. Everything else has been falling into place with this move. This will, too.”

First week of August. No letter. We called. She was second.

Last week. No letter. We called. She was first.

But still not in.

The district assured me they would keep working on it. But even if kids didn’t show up for third grade on the first day they had to make every attempt at locating them and finding out for sure if they weren’t returning… which could take two weeks.

Or everyone would come back and she’d remain at that other school for the rest of the year.

By herself. Without her brothers.

We prayed. We kept praying. We said how fun it would be to have her own school.

And she put a brave face on. She laughed. Nervously.

And I prayed some more. “God? Don’t you know this is my daughter’s heart here? Do You really know what You’re doing? I mean, of course You do. You’re God. But, come ON! This is my little girl! My only little girl!”

Thursday we went to the new students night at the school behind our house. Then we drove over and went to the new student night at the overflow school. Just in case.

Friday evening came. She was still number one on the waiting list.

Last night we prayed for open spots. We prayed for friendships. We prayed for bravery and confidence. We prayed for wisdom and attitudes.

And this morning the boys and I piled in the car to drive Brit to her school that started at 8:20, before taking Jord and Ian to theirs that started at 8:30. Her own school. By herself. Without her brothers.

She looked nervous. We talked about how the teacher had a hamster and three fish. And how the office staff had commented, “Ooooo, you have the most popular teacher in the whole school. EVERYone wants to be in HER class. Maybe you'll decide you'll love it so much that you'll want to stay!”

Brit smiled, and then quietly said, “But, it will be weird to be at a school by myself… without my brothers.”

When we crossed the playground to find her teacher holding up the sign, when Brit put on her brave face, when she didn’t smile as I said goodbye…it was hard for both of us.

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God has our children in His hands. He knows their hearts. Nate and I have dedicated each of our four kiddos to Him, back into HIS care. I know things won’t always flow smoothly. I know this world will happen to them, too, just as it does to each of us. But I know each thing that comes their way God will use to mold them, raise them up, shape them into someone who will reflect His glory brighter and brighter, ultimately drawing others to Him.

Our job is to teach them. Teach them to trust Him. By praying. By reminding them Who is in control. By showing them what it looks like by trusting Him ourselves. By praying some more. And then letting go.

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This afternoon Brit hopped out of the car, bounced around the house, relayed the details of her day, said she’d made a friend. “Thank you, Lord, for being with my daughter!” I thought as she danced back and forth in front of the counter while she talked. Her voice did lower a bit when she said, “Mom, it’s weird being at a school by myself.” But then she pranced off to get a snack and do her daily reading.

At two minutes ‘til 5:00 o’clock my phone rang. “Mrs. White, a 3rd grade spot has opened up, if you would still like it.”

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I think the lessons God so gently teaches our children are also clearly meant for us. Trusting Him with the details. Trusting Him with our children. Making the best of what comes our way, knowing He’s preparing us for HIS best. And letting go.

Because my daughter learned those things…is learning those things.

I am, too.

And the uncontainable squeal when she jumped into my arms upon hearing the news was evidence that God knows exactly what He’s doing.

It’s so often worth going through the valley to have the view from the mountaintop. The beauty of the one does not shine as brightly without the presence of the other.
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3 Comments:

Willie said...

Glad to hear that everyone is where they are supposed to be. :)

Amanda

MomOfDudes said...

My experience was simiar to yours I wanted to transfer Eric to a different High School, it was down to the wire but God opened doors for him and it has been amazing.

I am so glad for all of you

Love and blessings my friend

The Adventure said...

Yea!!!!!!