Saturday, April 4, 2009

Fashion Tip Friday: Disneyland Edition

I'm just saying that if I were doing What Not To Wear, I'd go to America's theme parks, pull people out of the crowd, and give them some advice on proper attire for roller-coasters and water rides. No, I didn't get a picture of the lady in the white tee and hot pink bra coming off of Grizzly River Run. I just couldn't do that to her.

But I DID get a photo of a great *little* dress that I'm sure would be very comfortable while climbing in and out of rides all day:

Yes. That is a DRESS!!! And it was see-through! Worst of all may have been that this girl was shopping with her mother and little brother. Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear.

But this wasn't an isolated incident. The mini-dress thing seemed to be a phenomenon all over Disneyland. I just truly, truly don't get it. It's one thing when you're at the mall or a fancy-schmancy event to think you won't really have to move much, so you convince yourself you can get away with the too-short thing because, well, Cameran Diaz does in those InStyle photos! (Do you SEE the influence you have? Of course you do. We've already discussed this.) You tell yourself you'll be at ease, and then spend the rest of your time trying to be at ease. But it's a completely different thing when you go to a THEME PARK where you RIDE RIDES and CLIMB IN AND OUT OF THINGS. Please. I don't want to see your girly bits. The greasy guy behind us in line might, but I don't. I wouldn't think you'd want him to, either.

Girls. Please. Leave the mini-dresses at home next time you pack.

Another thing I couldn't understand:

I'm all for putting up with a little discomfort if the shoes are just really, REALLY too cute to leave in the closet. But this is too much. Worst of all she seemed very labored in her walking... trudging... as she passed me. Oh, poor girl. Next time go with the Vans. You'll still maintain a bit of edge, but you'll be able to strut you're studded jeans better. This issue wasn't as wide-spread, but still just as shocking.

Now, I'm pretty lenient when it comes to theme park attire because, well, we're out for comfort and durability here. So, floral capris and boxy destination logo tees? ("Welcome to Boca Raton") We'll let those slide. Many a man did I see in too-short-shorts and black socks. But, hey! We're on vacation.

Some tips, though:

*DO dress in layers. The lockers are only $7.00 a day, and it's worth it to bring an extra sweatshirt and jacket to leave in there until evening when the breeze picks up and your light sunburn kicks in.

*DO where a lightweight hoodie you can take on and off. It can get pretty chilly when you move from the outside part of the line to the inside. You don't want to mess up your aim on Buzz Lightyear because you're shivering. But you also don't want to roast while outside. A tank with a hoodie option covers both ends of the spectrum.

*DO wear jeans that you can roll into capris when the sun is high. OR, shove your jeans into the locker with your sweatshirt and jacket and trade your shorts out for them after sunset.

*DO bring your beauty essentials, i.e. chapstick, powder, lipstick that can double as blush. It's wearying to get to the end-of-the-day photos and feel blech make-up wise. Your feet might be tired, but your face doesn't have to show it.

*DO wear jewelry that you won't freak out if you lose. I go with cheap, lightweight hoops. They don't hurt my ears on the roller-coasters, I still look pulled together, and if one comes out, well, they didn't cost a lot to begin with! (Plus, they're shiny. We like shiny accessories.)

*DO splurge on those Mickey ears if you want them!!! You're on vacation. This is about letting that inner kid out. Go for the ears with the tiara, or the princess hat with the veil, or the sequin ear headband! You ARE a princess at heart. Have fun with it!

There were so many more photos I could have taken, but we all know the issues I have with whipping out the camera and pointing it at a perfect stranger.

The thing is, when going to a theme park, you just need to think ahead. DON'T assume it will be cold all day when you leave the hotel at 7:30am and it's foggy. Because at 11:00am you're going to be cursing the sun, raising your fists in the shadow of The Matterhorn and crying out, "Egaads! Why didn't I listen to Angela's fashion advice?" But DO assume it will be chilly at SOME point during the day. Otherwise you'll be huddled under the heaters outsize The Plaza at the end of Main Street crying out... well... jump back a couple of sentences and you can read it again.
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MomOfDudes said...

This is so funny Angela, I totally people watch when I go to amusement parks, I am always noticing the shoes people wear. It is not only the adults that I notice but the kids as well. Remember the comfort required to walk all day!!!this is not the time to let a child win an arguement and wear her plastic Snow white high heels with her halloween costume. I will never forget watching the poor little five year old crying as she was walking in those shoes... Come on Mom!!!

Summer said...

HAAAAA!!! I love it. Growing up there....okay, around that area, I saw some of the strangest attire. Of course, back then, I did not have the style smarts or Angela's fashion tips to live by, so I do hope no one ever snuck pictures of me in my poofy hair days.

Christel louise said...

wonderful what not to wear tips with Angela! Can't wait to come see you!!