Friday, March 6, 2009

Fashion Tip Friday: Capris

If they're too long, they'll look like they're pants that are too short.

If they're too short, they'll look like shorts that are too long.

If they're too wide, you'll look like you're wearing a bell and your legs are the little thing inside that makes it ring.

If they're too tight, you'll look like an orange on a toothpick. (Quick! Where's the quote from?)

Capris are difficult. And although they may no longer be at the height of the fashion trend, they're still fully acceptable. Especially in an office setting during the summer.

Just DON'T do this:

(Goodwill is a breeding ground for bad fashion examples.)

I had to try this on and have my wonderfully willing friend take a picture to explain what NOT to do. I see so many women in carpis such as these! Wrong length, wrong cut. Egaads!

*They should fall in a straight line from the widest part of your hip. These cut in at the knee and then flare out again, which makes my hips look wide and my feet look quite awkward. (Okay, my feet look awkward anyway, but this accentuates it.)

*They need to be a few inches shorter. I've heard it said that a capri should cut across the widest part of your calf. While there can be exceptions to this rule, it's a good one to keep in mind.

*Exceptions can be made (see above tip) when you're wearing heels. The higher the heel, the lower the length of a capri you can get away with because your body is visually lengthened by your footwear.

*So it falls to reason that if you're wearing flats, you can't get away with the above. The capris will visually cut off your body wherever the pant stops. They'll make you look shorter and awkward. Likewise, the lower the shoe, the higher the capri.

*If you're pretty darn short, even with heels on, you really need to be wary of capris altogether. You should probably either go with pants or shorts. Capris will tend to do very little to flatter your beautifully petite figure. (Notice I'm saying "really need to be wary" and "probably" and "tend" and "very little" to soften the embedded statement that you just down right shouldn't wear them.)

*Don't think you can get away with putting on those capris for work when your legs are newly emerging from their winter wardrobe without some form of self tanner. Please. Don't scare the children. We make excuses: "Everyone's pale this time of year. It won't matter." Yes, everyone is. But, yes, it does. If you're going to wear the fashion, take responsibility for it... or pray that you suddenly become a different race with a gorgeous, natural, year-round-tan skin tone. Miracles never cease.

My brain is a little gone today, but I didn't want to skip this post, seeing as how I've been negligent the past two weeks. So, I'm cutting the tips short. If you have more, please add them in the comments.

(Man, that picture is really, really bad. I mean REALLY bad. Please, don't ever wear anything like that. Please.)
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Crayl said...

So, I married an ax murderer!
Do I win something?

Anonymous said...

Big deal. Women can wear anything men can wear but not vice versa !