Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Death of the DVR, the sequel

Our new DVR came a week or so ago. Relief at the sight of the box, hesitation and concern at the sight of it being the same model of DVR as the other one.

Set up programming. Reset season passes. Everything seems fine. Yay.

Gone for Thanksgiving. Come back Saturday night to...

a dead DVR.

Now, it's not all dead, mind you. It's only mostly dead. See, there's a big difference between mostly dead, and all dead. Now, mostly dead: it's slightly alive. All dead: well...

Nate went through the steps to resurrect the device without losing our beloved saved shows, a few of which came from the consolation gift DirecTV calls Showtime and we call Soft Porn. Nothing happened. Upon the realization we would have to again attempt to reformat the device, thus losing any programs previously recorded, I knew I would have to make another call back to the mothership. (It's a darn good thing our Thursday night lineup was all reruns for Thanksgiving. Darn good thing.)

This time things went a little smoother:

(conversation already in progress)

Me: "... now the new one died, wouldn't re-start to save our programming, so my husband had to reformat it and we lost all of our shows. Again."

DirecTV Girl: "I'm so sorry, ma'am."

Me: "Including the Showtime movies we had recording for us while we were out of town over Thanksgiving."

DirecTV Girl: "I'm so sorry you've had this trouble."

Me: "Is this going to keep happening? Is this receiver going to keep shutting down and us keep losing our recorded shows?"

DirecTV Girl: "Well, I sure hope not. We can do our best to help you today. I'm looking at your account right now and I've already fixed it so you'll have ten dollars a month deducted from your bill for the next six months."

Me: "Oh, thank you! That is very nice. Thank you."

DirecTV Girl: "You're welcome, ma'am. I'm just so sorry you..."

Me: "The man who I spoke with before compensated us with three months of free Showtime. Is there any way we could switch that to HBO? Showtime has a few movies that are alright, but otherwise it's pretty bad. I'm just thankful the kids are locked out of most of it. It's like soft porn! We went to watch something last night and were appalled at what came up. We didn't dare click in to view anything!"

DirecTV Girl: "Well, we are only authorized to give customers Showtime to compensate for trouble they may be experiencing."

Me: "Yes, that's what the man I spoke to before said. I just didn't realize how bad some of that programming is."

DirecTV Girl: "Yeah, let me just tell you... don't ever get Cinemax. It's even worse."

Me: "Oh, ick. I'll remember that. Since you work there, you probably know all the ins and outs of this stuff. We just want to record some good movies. We save them and watch them when we can... which is why I had asked for HBO when I called last time, but the guy said he couldn't do that."

DirecTV Girl: "Yes, Showtime is all we're authorized to give out. But if it's movies you want, then you should go with Starz. They have the most new movies coming out the most frequently. And they have a lot of family friendly programming, with more channels to choose from."

Me: "Really? Oh, it DOES sound like we would enjoy that." (I'm not playing along at this point at ALL.)

DirecTV Girl: "Yeah, you would probably enjoy that much better than HBO. I can only authorize Showtime, but let me pass a note to my manager right now. HBO and Starz are located in your 500 channels. You check that in about ten minutes. If you get them, then she could do it. If not, well, you'll just have Showtime."

Me: "Oh, my goodness! Thank you so much. That would just be wonderful."

DirecTV Girl: "I'm going to transfer you to technical support now..."

From that point a conversation ensued that was much akin to the previous one I had with tech support. It included many phrases like, "Yes, we already tried that." And, "We did the same things you told us to last time, and they still didn't work." And, "There was no other option but to reformat, which is what you told us last time." And, "Is this going to keep happening and us having to keep calling in and you guys keep telling us the same thing and us having to pay shipping for yet another receiver?"

I don't think he liked me very much.

BUT, I checked the 500 channels a few minutes later, and we now have Starz, HBO, and Showtime free for the next three months... in addition to $60.00 over the next six months coming off our bill. Oh, yes. Now let's just hope our DVR doesn't die again (either mostly dead or all dead) so we lose all the fun movies we're going to save up.

Now, to leave you with an example of the fine, fine programming that was on the other night. Given, it was 9:27pm. But, still... it was ONLY 9:27PM!!!

Nate said it must be soft porn for aliens. (And, NO, Jeremy, we didn't click into it.)

(Bonus points for whomever can guess what the quote is in the post and where it came from!)
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Mark V said...

Ooh- I want some bonus points:

The Princess Bride
(I'll leave out the quote so as not to spoil it for others- it fits really well)

Btw- I'm actually a regular reader of your blog- quality stuff!

Ratzlaff Reflections said...

Oh, please. Challenge me next time. Princess Bride . . . yada, yada. Wait, did you just yada, yada over the Princess Bride? You can't yada, yada over the Princess Bride. That's the best part!!

Mark V said...

No, I mentioned the bisque...

Wendy said...

We used to call Cinemax "Skinemax" for obvious reasons.

(I'm Wendy, by the way... nice to "meet" you!)

christine said...

Yes, Cinemax is known as "Skinemax" in my house to. We of course do not allow such filth. ;)

Thany said...

We love Starz and you will too!

While I join the others in begging for more of a challenge next time, I also want to extend points to you for leaving the quote training off int he middle so that the entire dialogue of Princess Bride will be in my head all day.

And I THANK you. :)

Angela said...

Mark~ Yay! You read my blog. I did not know. What fun!

Wendy~ Nice to "meet" you, too!

Everyone else~ Fine. I'll try to do better next time. It's just that the quotes usually in my head are the no brainer ones we all love! =^) And, as Mark pointed out, it WAS very fitting. (There's my vast humility again.)

Jeremy said...

I can one up the quote contest to say that Kelleigh's quote is from Seinfeld...and "wink" "wink" I'm sure you didn't watch Areola 51...I've got nipples, Focker, can you milk me?