Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I Spy: The "Under The Couch" Edition

They're the words every parent dreads hearing. A punch to the gut. The realization that you now have to deal with reality.

"Mom, I dropped the remote behind the couch."

Of course, I did what every great mother would do: "Umm... we'll wait 'til Daddy gets home."

Fast-forward to that evening. The kids are in bed. We're settling in to watch a movie and...

"Babe, where's the remote?"

Uh-oh.

Pulling out the couch has to be the biggest reality check you can possibly have. It's like moving the coffee table or recliner times 10. You just don't do it without a prior scheduled counseling session and the pantry being stocked with Coke and chocolate. I had neither.

Everything looks pulled together and normal, but... muah, hah, hah. (That's an evil laugh, by the way.) Little Miss Perfect goes skipping out the door when you're staring at an entire deck of cards, an entire Candy Land game complete with tin lid from the collector's box, enough legos to build the Death Star, a few chewed on sucker sticks, and dust that could be considered part of the food pyramid because it's mixed with enough Pixie Stick residue to thwart off Tinkerbell.

Good thing Little Miss Perfect never lived here to begin with.

And, you know, it's something that's so uplifting and at the top of my priority list after the kids are in bed and we're trying to relax. Nate's heaving one end up while I'm reaching as far as I can with the broom, but I can't see through the dust cloud that's risen and we wind up having to transplant the entire thing to the opposite side of the room anyway. So you might as well clean the whole mess rather than just dig out the lost remote. It's even better with a sectional. You can't put the one side back and NOT do the other side, because now you know the reality of what lies beneath and no one will ever be able to enjoy a quiet evening when competing with thoughts of what a negligent mother you are because crayons are crying for their home beneath your propped up feet.

Twenty-five minutes later we have the remote and are staring at the pile uncovered beneath the behemoth of a sectional sofa that I am so grateful for. (Seriously. I get emotional when I think of the blessing of that couch.)

"Leave it," says Nate. "I want the kids to see where their stuff went."


The pile is almost as BIG as the couch itself.


I spy some legos, a queen with a heart,
A bright yellow pencil and a helicopter part.

I'm good. They should hire me as a writer.
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7 Comments:

Amy said...

I imagine "Candy Land" hasn't been the same for quite some time. :) It however DOES look just like the eye spy pages.

Lori said...

Oh, Angela! How brave you are to show your "stuff"... lol We lost a remote when my 3 year old nephew Jack visited...haven't seen it since.

I like your blog...like that it is "real" :)

Lori

*emmy said...

I spy with my little eye a shocked mommy behind that camera. Oh. My.Gosh, that is a big pile!

MooBeeMa said...

Impressive. AND clean! Way to go brave Mama!

The Adventure said...

That is HILARIOUS!! Thanks for giving me a great big smile this morning!!! We have only been in the house for a short time and I'm sure there is already a little collection growing under ours!!

Runningamuck said...

Hilarious! This is my first time to visit and I'm loving your blog. =0)

Thanks for the great advice on night terrors you gave on my blog. I'm totally going to follow it should we have to experience it again.

I'll be back! =0)

Our Happenin's said...

That is awesome! Makes me wonder what's under mine...