Friday, September 19, 2008

Favorite...

Last night at small group we were supposed to say a favorite memory of each of our sons, in the theme of our study, Bringing Up Boys. I took forever because I couldn't recall a favorite memory. The ones that kept coming to mind were of when they were hurt or in trouble. I tried to think of something less morbid, less disciplinarian sounding... so I said something about Disneyland and we all moved on.

But I kept dwelling on it. My favorite memory? A memorable time? A cherished event? Negative circumstances kept flooding my head. When Nate was gone at Officer Training School and Taylor would cry for his Daddy at night before falling asleep... when Taylor came home from school upset about the bullies that wouldn't leave him alone... when Jordan broke his leg... when he came and told us the truth about breaking the neighbor's windshield with the baseball after lying about it for a whole day... spending the night with Ian in the hospital, laying in that big bed next to him...

It seemed so morbid that my most cherished times stemmed from awful circumstances that we would have avoided had we known. But then I realized,

these were my most cherished because I was able to comfort my boys. In the midst of hurt and pain and disappointment, I was able to hold them and love them and teach them and mold them. And, while they were experiencing an awful storm of sometimes their own consequences and sometimes the stuff of life, I was sheltering them from an even bigger storm. Dwelling on this I realized how, just like my boys, I hate going through the tough stuff, the painful stuff, the this-sucks-but-I've-got-to-get-through-it stuff. But, just like me, God must see those as some of His most cherished times with His child. Times when He holds me and loves me and teaches me and molds me and shelters me from an even bigger storm. Sometimes I'm suffering the consequences of my own actions, and sometimes I'm having to live out what life has brought. But, always, my Father is there.

So, it's not morbid that my most loved memories are the ones my boys would look at as hard or sad. We spent precious time together, and grew closer because we went through it. I hope they wouldn't want to change that for anything in the world.

It makes me think of the hard times I've gone through differently, see them in another light. I grew closer to my Father through those. I was loved and held and comforted and shaped and molded. I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

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5 Comments:

Thany said...

How thankful I am that I can count on Him to be there when I need Him.

This was lovely.

Anonymous said...

Oh I am so glad you posted that video. As I read your blog I was thinking of that video. I too thought of Ian's hospital stay while you were talking last night.

Anonymous said...

Hi Angela! This is Liz, Holly Lathrop's mom (from gym). I was going to email you on myspace and saw your blog, thought I'd say hello and to tell you that Nooma video brought me to tears! Wow! That was awesome. That's the first time I've seen a Nooma video, it just really stirs up your heart and makes you think about things. How are you, miss talking to you. We started some great conversations. Hope all is well, email sometime em_lathrop@hotmail.com or I"m on facebook and myspace. Have a good day.
Liz

Lori said...

Thanks for sharing, Angela :)

Brandi said...

Thank you!