Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My Letter to InStyle

In all of my spare time that I spend sitting on my couch watching Lifetime Original Movies, eating chocolate and ignoring laundry I somehow worked in an email to InStyle Magazine on Saturday, the 12th of July:

"I love your look of the day email and have even referred to that/your site/your magazine on my blog regularly. However, I was taken aback to see Selma Blair's sheer dress as your pick today. Sheer is fashionable, but not when it is revealing. From the photo it looks as though her nipples are in plain site for all to see. I'm very disappointed you would pick something so revealing as an example of fashion, especially knowing young people hold what you say as infallible. Fashion can equate risk, but as you let the moral wall crumble, so will your readers. Please maintain higher standards. You've done this from time to time in your magazine, but I've never sat down to write you before. And If I'm wrong and she is covered beneath the sheer top, I'm sorry for my mistake. But please make that apparent in your photo."

Here is the response I received this morning:

"Thank you for your suggestions. We are constantly changing and evolving our coverage and will take your comments into consideration."

I knew I wouldn't get a real response. Especially considering our society's downward spiral in owning up to our mistakes and accepting responsibility.

But, just the same, I was hoping for one.

"Dear Concerned Reader,

We are most grateful for you keen observation, and thank you for taking the time to write and point out our obvious lack of consideration for moral standards in our July 12th Look of the Day. We're still not sure how our many well paid web editors missed this obvious faux pas, but our investigation is ongoing. You are absolutely correct that so much responsibility does fall on our magazine to uphold moral standards in fashion. We realize this often walks a thin line, and from time to time we do lean over that a bit too far. However, Ms. Blair's sheer top as a fashion choice did cross the line by a long shot, and we apologize.

Seeing as how our editors at times struggle with their moral fashion compass, we'd like to invite you to come onboard and assist us with these decisions. Your work will be done from your own computer, which we would like to supply you. How does a Mac Book Pro sound? And if you'd like to look over our fashion picks of the day before they are published, please feel free to do so in front of Lifetime Original Movies. As an added bonus, can we provide you with an unlimited supply of Dove chocolate? We're also going to need a beta test of all the clothing we review, including, but not limited to, Christian Louboutin shoes, Chanel purses, and vintage accessories. Just forward your address for you weekly shipment. We'll need a 100 word summary of each piece within seven days after you have worn it. After your summary is submitted, it will be within your discretion as to what you do with the items. We will not need them returned.

Thank you again for taking time out of your busy schedule to express your concern. It's people like you that help hold us accountable where fashion meets morality.

The editors of InStyle"

Now, doesn't that sound nice?
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

...because actual conversations are just SO antiquated...

Otherwise titled, "How to shirk responsibility without actually having to talk to anyone."

Slydial. For when you want to leave a message, but don't want to actually have a conversation with anyone on the other end.

Now, I can see when this would come in amazingly handy. I'm not saying I don't see the benefits. However, I'm just downright disturbed by the whole concept. It's basically avoiding confrontation of any kind. Even the name: Sly. Dial. Slydial. It's sneaky.

And I DO see the upside, but the downside is so much greater and so much steeper. As a whole, our society is heading toward a non-confrontational, wussy-pants existence.

Yes. I said wussy-pants.

As for me and my house, we're still trying to instill in our children the disappearing arts of accepting responsibility and carrying on genuine conversations... even if it's with someone you don't necessarily enjoy talking to.

Wussy pants.
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Sunday, July 20, 2008

One Of The Many Posts I've Been Too Busy To Post

That's MAJOR White (as of July 1st).

Congrats, Honey. Goodness knows, you deserve it.
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Sunday, July 13, 2008

You can't get any better than "free"...

...unless it's "free with free food"... or maybe "free with free shoes." It would probably depend on what the food was, though. Or what kind of shoes went with the "free."

But free movies? Yes. That's how I roll. So check it out, if you haven't already. And go get your "free" on. (Feel free to insert air-conditioning joke here.)
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Friday, July 11, 2008

Fun at the Fair

Dollar Day at the Fair is only second best to Free Day at the Fair. The second doesn't exist, but we sure do love the first! (With Taylor and Jordan galavanting around the Northern West Coast, we're working hard to equal their fun.)

The petting zoo was awesome! Goats are just a tad smelly...

...and hungry...

...sometimes for pink cell phones that are in the pocket of the eager photographer.

Oh, dear! A deer! (Your daily dose of homophones.)

Trying to make ugly pig faces. His hair sure was scratchy!

We got to see piglets! They were just born the day before. SO cute to watch!

We got to see friends. Missy, Madison, & Rebecca had their piggies at the fair.

And more friends.

And eat fun treats.

And when Daddy came back with us that evening there was some mad go-cart racing. Who is that driving all by themselves?

The kids and I had so much fun throughout the day. I didn't even get pictures of the tile they each painted at the Home Depot Booth, or their faces as we entered the smelly livestock tent, or me drooling over the great Coach and LV knock offs that were in PLAIN SITE in at least four booths. No pictures of me swooning over my funnel cake, or the kids riding their "one ride each."

But, I think the llama and I made a definite connection.

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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Sassy Fashion Thursday: What NOT To Wear To Your Local Fair

I know it's hot, and I know you want to be comfortable. But, dear goodness, some semblance of fashion rules still do apply even at the local fair. I just wish I was as bold with the camera EVERY time I witnessed a walking disaster yesterday. Alas, I only got the nerve up once... because I already had the camera out... because we were in the petting zoo... where, yes even there, fashion rules still apply.

I wish I could have taken the shot from a better angle, but from any direction the plaid oversized sleeveless jumper is still not okay. Not. Okay. This picture doesn't do the traveshamockery justice. (Whoever knows the origin of that word wins five points that count toward nothing!)

I wish I could have shown you the g-string with the large pink bow that was deliberately hanging out the backside of a young ladies lowrider denim of choice. It looked like a tail.

Or the mullets. There were quite a few of those. Both male and female.

I wish I was bolder with the camera.
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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

...on a jet plane

It was kind of weird to watch them walk out on the runway. Not weird because they were getting on a plane, but weird because I wasn't getting on the plane WITH them.

A week at Grandma & Grandpa's in Oregon.

A week at Gramma & Bampa's in Washington.

Flying by themselves.

I cannot even communicate the excitement they both exuded at the airport. And when their flight was delayed for mechanical reasons it was almost too much. Taylor wanted to know why they couldn't wait on the plane while the mechanics got it ready, because that would be so much more fun. Jordan just kept running in circles.

And then there they went. My boys who are getting so big. Too big. Big enough to fly by themselves. On a jet plane.

How is a mother's heart supposed to handle all this? I guess somehow it just miraculously does.
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Check it out...

This guy is hilarious. It's all tongue-in-cheek fun, so please don't go emailing me with rants of why I shouldn't link to his site. We, as humans, are quite amusing with the things we do... and why we do the things we do... and how we get insecure when someone points out the silliness in why we do something the way we do.


You'll also find Stuff Christians Like on my sidebar, so you can find it weeks from now when you remember this post, remember that blog, want to go back to it, but can't quite recall how you got there.

Thanks to Dylan The Man for turning me onto this site.
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Sunday, July 6, 2008


This is an official blog post. In case I have forgotten, I'm reminding myself now. Blog post. This is. I am posting. Right now.



And because the majority of good blog posts should include pictures, I'll do that, too. Yes. I'm amazing. I know.

It's for rent again. If you need a home in Denver, we have one for you!

It's amazing.

Like me.

And this is a blog post.
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