Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Indiana Jones Spoiler

I am so bummed out to say that... well... it was just alright. Maybe my expectations were just too high, but I honestly don't think that's the case. They tried to follow the formula, they just didn't hit the mark. Aliens? Come ON. The first and third were about biblical stuff that we KNOW has large elements of truth. The second was about satanic stuff that we KNOW has large elements of truth. But, aliens?

And when someone swings through the jungle on ropes in an Indiana Jones movie it needs to be blundering and awkward and almost-falling-to-the-jungle-floor-but-somehow-manages-to-hang-on-ish. Not Tarzan meets Spiderman meets Coolcomputergraphicsman.

Which is just the thing. Indiana Jones movies aren't entirely realistic, but they're close enough that you think, "Yeah, that could almost happen. That might just happen. I could see that happening." So when they try to make totally unrealistic things realistic it just falls flat. Phooey.

Rescuing someone from a sand pit by using a really long snake? Now THAT was good. Probably not realistic, but it's so close that you think it could be.

Giant, man-eating ants that drag people underground? Not realistic. If they would have made them a little smaller and they just tore the body apart on the spot, hauling the flesh underground but leaving only clothes behind... now that would have been good.

An ancient temple where secret passage ways and rooms open up when you remove a few stones? Yeah. Okay. That may be.

A space ship rising from the middle. No.

I was glad they brought Marion Ravenwood back. And Mutt was a decent addition, but they didn't develop his character enough.

In short, I was disappointed. I've had a crush on Indiana Jones for as long as any other woman. (Good thing I married my own.) And it HAD to be seen in the theater. It deserves that. But, I won't be rushing out to buy the complete boxed set when it graces Coscto just before Christmas.

Oh, Indy, how I have loved thee. And I will say, Harrison Ford does look darn good after all these years. But they needed to play up more of a love interest between him and the Ukrainian scientist before he was reunited with Marion and realized she was the only one he was ever truly meant for.

The wedding and fedora scene was a very fitting end.

Please don't make a fifth.
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4 Comments:

JW said...

Exactly...I'm bummed too!

JW again said...

Oh...that was #4 btw

Milk and Honey said...

I also very dissapointed with #4. Actually, I was mad. Aliens? When they could have totally gone along the cold war route? Aliens? And the action scenes were not very Indiana Jones to me. It seemed like a flat movie without the stupid aliens. AAAH, the stupid aliens!

Peris said...

I was so disapointed....come on Aliens! I did like the wedding ending and the motorcycle chase scene but other than that it was just not as well done....i was hoping for soemthing more.