Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Our Anitquated Tooth Fairy

Monday night Brittney finally lost one of her front teeth that has been dangling by a thread for the past week.

Tuesday Morning...

Me: "So? Did the Tooth Fairy come last night?"

Brit: "Yeah. But, I really wanted a dollar or something. I'm tired of only getting quarters."

Me: "Well, that's what our Tooth Fairy gives. If you're not thankful for the quarter she could give you nothing."

Brit: "Emily said her Tooth Fairy gives her a twenty dollar bill, or a hundred dollar bill, or something like that."

Me: "Well, maybe you should move to Emily's house and have Emily's Tooth Fairy."

Brit: "Mmmooooommmm."

Me: "Our Tooth Fairy has always given quarters and will always give quarters."

Seriously. At 25 cents per tooth, multiplied by 20 baby teeth per child, multiplied by four children, that's $20.00 for all of our kids' teeth over the span of their youth. Now, if our lovingly antiquated Tooth Fairy paid, say, $1.00 per tooth the total amount jumps to $20.00 per child, $80.00 total for all four. For some reason I doubt that any sane Tooth Fairy in this blessed country actually pays $20.00 per tooth, but if she for some odd reason DID, that would be $400.00 per child, and with four children it would come to $1600.00.

After some internet research, however, I've found there are some pretty wealthy tooth fairies out there. Supposedly, the going rate right now is $1.00 per tooth, but that's quickly moving to $2.00. There were a whole lot that do $5.00 per tooth, and many give $10.00 to $20.00 for the first tooth and less for the rest. I guess I didn't realize Tooth Fairies were subject to inflation. If so, does that mean Ian (fourth-born) should, in Tooth Fairy land, get more for his teeth than Taylor (first-born) did for his?

25 cents was good enough for my parents. It was good enough for me. Darn it, it will be good enough for my children. You other Tooth Fairies do what you want, but ours is sticking to her (and his) guns. She could get really darn antiquated and give out shiny pennies.

"Look, Mom! I got a whole shiny penny under my pillow!"

"Oh, how wonderful, sweetie. Why don't you run down to the corner store and buy some penny candy with your treasure? Don't forget your bonnet! And lace up your boots! I wouldn't want your petticoat getting caught in the grommets."
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Moore Fam said...

This is so funny. Sadly, we give $1.00 and also, the *Tooth Fairy* gives out more money if you pose for a nice picture for your mom. :)

Amy said...

20$$ for a tooth?? NOOOOO WAY!! That's a pretty fancy tooth fairy.

You are HI LAR IOUS by the way

Thany said...

First things first:
I loved the phrase "...doesn't want your petticoat getting caught in the grommets." so very much that I stole it for my MySpace page.

Next topic: Anything over a dollar seems excessive. Troy over on MySpace does the gold dollars for teeth and I like that because the coin itself is special so I think we might go with that as long as we can. My tooth fairy only brought toys, one time I got THREE quarters and I almost puked at the sight of so much money.

I still get quite a thrill if I find more than 2 quarters in my wallet!

Amber Joy said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! To think of dishing out $20 for a tooth! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! and who wouldn't love a quarter? In Euro-land they don't have quarters! Can you believe that?! you have to get out a 20-cent piece (that just sounds ludicrous in and of itself), and a five-cent piece. They also don't have names for their coins! Quarters are my absolute fave!

Jeremy said...

We were just telling tooth fairy stories in the office. By some misfortune one of our agents acting as the tooth fairy had forgot to place the quarter under her son's pillow and was presented with a crushed child the next morning. Fortunately as he stood there clutching the envelope which held the tooth she noticed her saving grace...the writing on the outside of the envelope said "Toot Fairy"

Ati2ude said...

*laughing* You know, Brit does bring up a good point about 25 cents being slightly unreasonable. She'd have to save for two teeth just to call home if she needed to use a payphone!

I'm just sayin.....

terryl said...

Funny, funny blog! I always thought $1 per tooth was ok, but I only have 2 kids. There were a few times I forgot to put the money under the pillow and my kids would come out looking sheepish because they knew who the Tooth Fairy was. I'd go back in with them to "re-check" (with a dollar up my sleeve) and voila, there it would be. They had simply missed it ;). I remember getting excited about a dime when I was a kid, but that was the early 70's!

Anonymous said...

Ironic you should post this...last night our tooth fairy must have been on vacation or just plain broke. I forgot to do the tooth visit!! Yikes@! My poor son! I agree...over a dollar seems crazy...maybe for the first tooth I gave $2, but for most just 1. I think I got 25cents myself as well or maybe 50 as a child.

Brandi said...

I always got a quarter. One year I asked for twenty dollars and still got just a quarter...
My tooth fariry must have been cheap, too.
But I survived with no emotional scarring.

*emmy said...

I went to the bank the other day and next to the bank teller was rolls of change neatly set up in rows. A row of nickles, dimes, and quarters? I looked closer because they didn't look like quarters. "What are these" I asked the bank teller. I was acutally a little embarressed because the question wasn't coming from a curious little kid learning money value for the first time but the question was from ME!

Anyways, she said they were quarters! They were gold colored! And all Shinny! And brand new! "Aha!" I said and told the teller that when Alexis looses her first tooth THAT there is going to be from the tooth fairy!