Friday, November 9, 2007

Choosing


It was one of those moments. THOSE moments. Ian had slept in a bit. I was checking email. I heard his soft, morning voice from the stairs. "Mommy?" We sat. We just sat on the stairs. He leaned against me. I kissed his hair. We talked about dreams, bubblegum mouthwash, breakfast. I wanted to stay there forever. Just stay. Forever. It was a moment.

But then I realized, if we just stayed there... if we lingered forever in the lovely... if we never moved on to the rest of the day, the rest of life...

My sweet Ian would never have a chance to grow. If we stayed he would never have overwhelming joys, never face gut wrenching sadness, never go through any trials. He would never move past where we were right there, sitting on the stairs. He would never be given the chance to grow. Never.

How often have I begged God, PLEADed with Him, to let me linger in the safety and security of a pleasant time? How often have I stood, bewildered, suddenly finding myself in something I didn't understand, didn't want, felt unprepared for? All I wanted was to stay in this secure, perfect moment. But if I did... if I stayed... I'd never have the chance grow. I'd never experience...

I want my children to have the chance. Sitting on the stairs this morning with my sweet Ian I realized he NEEDS to grow. If I keep Him here by my side He never will. So, we don't stay in the sweet... we move forward. And the movement itself becomes sweet.

What a picture of the love my Father has for me. He loves the tender, perfect moments where I'm happy, quiet, still, and just leaning into Him. But He also loves me so much that He gets up and moves me forward.

I could choose to try and stay in that comfortable place. I could try to NOT move forward. I could do everything in my power to stay on the stairs, happy and content, unaware of the world outside my door, unaware of what awaits me. I could keep my children close, shelter them from everything, protect their every step...

But what would we miss? What great things are out there that we'd never experience, never discover?

I choose growth. For me AND my family.

(Now, if you have a moment, go here. Listen and just be still for a minute. Then move forward.)
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4 Comments:

Brandi said...

Thank you, you said everything I needed to hear.

*emmy said...

The world sometimes scares me and drives me to want to place my two innocent girls into a bubble. I want to stand gaurd on the outside and with my mama bear claws strike down all evil that tries to come near them. I can be fierce and I will strike.

But, I too have sat at the bottom of the "stairs" with my girls. Snuggling them. Kissing them and smelling thier sweaty heads.

"Lord, can I just hold them in this place forever?"

God: "No, because they don't belong to you."

His plans for my children are far better then my bubble idea. I think I will go with his plan rather then mine.

MomOfDudes said...

My baby is going to be 13 in just two weeks. He is too big to sit on my lap (although he still tries) Savor my friend Savor

amber joy said...

We're eerily alike sometimes, even down to our thoughts from opposite sides of the world. I find comfort in that...and that I don't get the luxury of staying in one spot.